This Little Piggie is Made Out Of Meat!

After being amazed by the meaty antics seen on this feature at Something Awful (half-way through is the "Meat House"), I have to admit I started to think about making something else out of meat.

I had already made Halloween Fleshworms out of pork and bacon -- this time I went for something a little cuter: a little Piggie made from ham and pork! It has a cherry tomato in its mouth (instead of an apple) and a curly fry for a tail. It's as cute as it is tasty!

Ingredients

The Meaty Piggy consists of the following:

• One small ham (for the body)

• Ham sausage about 2" in diameter (for the snout)

• Ham sausage about 1" or so in diameter (for the legs)

• Thin ham pepperoni stick (for the eyes and nostrils)

And for the non-meat ingredients:

• A cherry tomato (takes the place of an "apple" in the mouth)

• Black food coloring

• A curly fry for the tail

• Toothpicks and bamboo skewers

• Optional: Potatoes, some veggies, etc.

Building and Cooking your Piggie

Making the Meaty Piggy is a creative endeavor, so put your own spin on the details. However, this is what worked well for me:

Body and Mouth: Cut a wedge for the mouth. Make it big enough so that the cherry tomato will fit in, and secure the tomato with toothpicks.

Legs: Next, cut the medium-sized sausage into stubby pieces with one end a little slanted so they will fit the rounded body a little better. Put stiff toothpicks or skewers into each leg so you can lower the body easily onto them.

Snout: Next, cut a chunk of the thick ham sausage - this will be the snout.

Cut two equal size lengths of the pepperoni stick, and color one end black with food coloring.

With a sharp knife, cut two holes in the snout for the nostrils. Make the holes a little smaller than the diameter of the pepperoni stick.

Insert the blackened pepperoni pieces into the holes in the snout and voila! A cartoonish-looking pig snout! Attach it to the Piggie's face with toothpicks in a spot that looks right to you.

Eyes: Cut two thin disks of pepperoni and color them black as well. These round black disks will be the eyes -- attach with toothpicks in a spot that looks good.

Ears: Next, take the wedge you cut out for the mouth and shape it into two triangles. These will be the ears. Attach them with toothpicks in a spot that looks right.

Tail: Cut a hole in the upper bum area and stick in the end of a curly fry. Support it with a toothpick, since it will droop as it cooks.

You should now have something that looks like this:

Feel free to add any other items to the pan that you'd like to cook. You can drizzle some sauce over your Piggy's back, and put some veggies or more curly fries on the pan. (Note: If you put potatoes like I did, you should boil them for about 5 minutes first. Otherwise they won't cook through.) Remember that the Piggie is actually ready to eat as-is and is only going to be getting warmed up so it won't be spending too much time in the oven.

Serving

Cook the Meaty Piggy for as long as it takes for the curly fries to be done (or, if you're not cooking with fries, about 20-25 minutes in a 350F oven should be fine.) Remember, we're really just warming it up - the Piggie is ready to eat as-is.

Serve your Piggie to your friend(s) with some bread and your favorite condiments!

Tips

The intended look of the Piggie is to be a little cute and cartoonish. A few things go a long way towards completing this look:

- Round, smooth, chubby body.

- Stubby legs placed close together under the center of the body (not spread out - that gives it more of a bulldog-looking pose).

- A round snout and prominent round nostrils.

- Small black eyes.

- An exaggerated, curly tail.

Other Food Projects

Don't forget to check out the Cannibal-Themed Halloween Supper for other food-related fun, and check out this other all-meat creation: Awful Edible Fleshworms!